Jac Trumps
Mike Patton edition
Project info
I started a joke, which started the whole world crying.
The rules
- Shuffle the cards.
- Divide the cards evenly between players.
- Jan-ken-pon / rock-paper-scissors between players for the first turn.
- Players hold their cards in a stack face up and hidden from other players. Players may only play their top card each turn.
- The active player chooses a stat from their top card and declares its value.
- All players compare the same stat on their cards and put all the cards in the middle.
- The player with the highest / oldest stat wins, takes all the cards from the middle, and adds them to the back of their stack.
- In the event that two or more players have the same value stat, all the cards remain in the middle and a new round begins.
- The same active player goes again. They do not have to choose the same stat as the drawn round.
- Play until one player has all the cards and is the winner.
The arcana
tl;dr: precise Patton pedants sit down.
There are 'objective' stats based in available facts, and some 'subjective' stats based in stupidity. 'Factual' sources included discogs, allmusic, spotify, wikipedia, and so on. However you slice it the arcana is based on judgement calls and a degree of game balancing.
- Debut: the year of the collaboration's first release
- Songs: the number of songs on which Patton is credited in the collaboration
- Popularity: a June 2020 snapshot of 'monthly listeners' on Spotify for either the collaboration as an artist or the most suitable collaborating artist
- Band members: either full time permanent band members plus one for Patton, or all contributing artists to a relevant release
- Frontmannery: the extent to which Patton plays the frontman or primary role in the collaboration
- Gonzo rating: bonkersness of the collaboration on a five star scale
Why?
JAC TRUMPS MIKE PATTON EDITION is a troll. A joke. A jape. An innocuous WhatsApp shitpost to a group of Faith No More nerds that wormed its way into existence.
The plan was to anonymously mail a physical deck of half-arsed Mike Patton-themed cards to some friends heading to the Birmingham leg of the 2020 (then 2021) Faith No More UK tour together. To take a bunch of Mike Patton arcana and use an online "make your own cards" templating service to throw together some cards together for printing, ship them out, and wait for the laughs.
Buuuut then the online templating services weren't quite right, and seeing as the arcana had been collected it became a full-on hobby project to learn how to use the GIMP graphic design software to turn it into a print and play project with artwork from scratch.
This website exists, and I'm sorry I'm just an asshole, as a protest against The Way The Internet Is Going These Days. Remember the internet? Websites, and stuff? Before it was just like a handful of massive centralised apps, for which we make 'content', to which we handed control of everything we do online? Yeah. So anyway this also became a reaction to that, and the hobby project grew to include also learning enough HTML5 and CSS3 to build this website for it entirely from scratch in Notepad++ and WinSCP over ftp.
Photo credits
Coming soon.